Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3
Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 Cover
Platforms Xbox 360, PlayStation 3, Wii, Windows
Genre Same ol' shooter
Score 6  Clock score of 6
Buy from Amazon

I’ve played a fair amount of video games in my life, and I’ve been playing shooters since I was five or six. This isn’t a challenge of “Yeah, well, I started when I was four!” Don’t start, that’s just annoying. My point is, I’ve been around the block a few times. Here’s a list of the shooters I played online regularly in chronological order: Quake, Team Fortress Classic, Unreal Tournament, Counter-Strike: Source, America’s Army, Battlefield: Bad Company 2.

That’s really not that much, but it became impossible to keep up with the audiences. You want to play the most popular games (or at least popular games) so you actually have other people to play against, but once there was a new shooter coming out every freakin’ year, I just gave up.

Until one night, when my friend came into town for a visit and explained to me he had another copy of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3, and said it was mine if I wanted it. I thanked him and declined at first, but finally caved and accepted the offer. What the hell, it’s a free game, right?

I had borrowed Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 from a friend of mine in Texas awhile ago, and I remember loving the campaign. Talk about fun! It was actually, to my surprise, enjoyable. I didn’t play any of the multiplayer as I was playing the game on Xbox, and of course Xbox Live is not free. So I complete the campaign in a time I felt was good; it wasn’t too long, or too short. It was just right.

So I eagerly shove the bastard in the disc tray, and start the thing up. It’s good to see that... nothing has really changed. Not that I really remember. Honestly, here’s my review of the Modern Warfare 3 campaign.

After completed the single-player campaign, I immediately got up, and did something else.

That’s it. There was nothing there. I just kind of... I didn’t even really realize that I beat the game. As soon as the credits started to roll, I shut the machine off. “Who cares? If there’s something I missed, I’ll find out in another year or two in Modern Warfare 4.”

That’s the problem. This game isn’t unique; it’s not rare. It’s just some machined recipe that they sell you every year for $60. Imagine if you ate the SAME thing every day. It’s like that. But instead, we’ve been eating the same thing since 2006, or whatever. It’s not bad... it’s just... it’s like a bag of chips you just eat because it’s there.

Anyway, so I remembered a few days ago that the main reason Activision is even still in business is because Call of Duty sells like crack because of multiplayer. So I finally decided to get on Xbox Live and... I’m sorry guys:

The multiplayer in Call of Duty: Modern Warefare 3 is more adequately described as “Designed for impatient toddlers who want sugar NOW NOW NOW” than “The greatest multiplayer experience since (insert name here)."

That’s not to say that it doesn’t require skill to play Modern Warfare, it does. But at the same time, I’ve played quite a bit of FPS, so I felt I should at least be average. But I’m not, and while it took hours of pondering, I figured out why: This game goes against every instinct I’ve ever had since playing online shooters in 1996!

Call of Duty Modern Warfare 3 Paris

There is no camping. Which some people I’m sure, LOVE! But realistically, it’s unbelievable. It’s impossible to get into a defensible position by yourself in every map I played. It’s also a perfectly legitimate strategy: Ask anyone who has fought in a war. In fact, in the game America’s Army, if you tried to insult someone by calling them a camper, you’d say “Stop being a tactician,” or “stop using tactics!” Maybe I missed a few spots? I don’t know. What I do know is:

MW3 rewards you for always running. I don’t know why. In real life, soldiers aren’t just running the entire time. They’re looking for ways to steady their aim. Not in MW3. Dude, you better run until you see someone, and when you see someone, you better start pulling the trigger BEFORE looking down your sights. It’s hilarious how I die when I camp, and I die when I don’t. I try to follow my team, and I get shot in the back by some raging guy who kills my entire team with his USAS-12. I go away from my team, I am killed by the same guy running with the shotgun, or, I finally kill him, give away my position and get shot in the head by a sniper. There are at least two but usually three entrances to every room. This isn’t fun for me. But what REALLY annoys me? Well, I can’t stand it when:

A game gives you access to better items based on your level. I can’t stand this. I HATE this. I really do. This is the addictive game design ploy to keep you playing online to keep your interest to buy their DLC. So you can level up and get new crap.

What’s so wrong with everyone having everything? You could still keep the customizable loadout. But here’s why: People are suckers for small rewards.

It’s a proven fact that getting many small rewards quickly is more effective than getting an even bigger payout in the long term. We have no more patience anymore, and thus games like Castlevania to games like WoW succeed. It’s the same with Farmville. What happened to just having good gameplay? I mean, this doesn’t necessarily mean you have bad gameplay, but it is simply annoying that not everyone can start with the right stuff. I’ve played both Battlefield and Call of Duty, and both times I found a weapon 10-15 levels up that I love so much that I murder everyone with it, and don’t want to get rid of it. Most people do that. Why couldn’t I just START like that? Because it forced me to play for a week extra, making it more likely that I’ll buy the upcoming DLC.

What I liked: That it was free! And the campaign wasn’t bad, just not GREAT.

What I didn’t like: Again, that multiplayer was just not good to me. I’ll stick with the more realistic shooters that don’t fight my instincts. Battlefield: Bad Company 2 was a game that made fantastic sense to me. The same goes for Counterstrike: Source and Arma 1 and 2, and America’s Army. It all makes sense to me. I freaking hate kids, and Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 does nothing more than remind me of unsupervised, hyperactive children.

Overall: 6

I found Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 to be an extraordinarily plain game that I’m so glad I got for free. If I had purchased this the day it came out I would have been depressed.