|Mutant League Football|
|Genre||Hellacious Gridiron Football|
|MtAMinutes to Action||3|
|Score||6 Gameplay: 6
Fun Factor: 6
|Buy from Amazon|
Mutant League Football is a football game released for the Sega Genesis in 1993. This isn't your typical football game though, as the players are mutants, monsters, and skeletons, and the field has firepits, mines, and going out of bounds means getting sucked into space. Mutant League Football was developed by EA and released at the same time as the early Madden Football games, but you can tell the development team really had some fun with the game. A few of the team names are mocking real teams (Sixty Whiners instead of 49ers) and there are a couple of parody players such as Reggie Fright (Reggie White) and Bones Jackson (Bo Jackson).
This game really reminds me of The Rookie, a podcast novel written by Scott Sigler that I listened to last year. In that book, there's an intergalactic football league played by a variety of alien races and includes much death and destruction. A great listen. Let's get to the review now, oh yeah, this is my second post-apocalyptic game review in a row after Fallout, funny how those things run in streaks.
(minutes are in bold)
00 - I press Start and the game sends me right to the team select screen. Let's see, I'll definitely be the home team, is there a Packers equivalent? Haha, must be the Icebay Bashers! They only have two skulls though, does that mean they're bad? And I will play the Midway Monsters, looks like the Bears.
01 - Tons of playing fields to choose from, I'll go with the Frozen Waste. And I'll keep the death index at Bloody. That must be the difficulty setting.
02 - The helmets clash and the game begins! My coach appears to give me a pep talk.
03 - The game begins, and I have no idea how to play! I'm sacked on the first play. Come on, this isn't Madden, how hard can the controls be?
04 - Well, I just kicked a field goal from about 80 yards out. I should be paying more attention to what buttons I'm pressing.
05 - First play on defense and I intercept the ball right back. I didn't even try to do that. Tried a simple run play for two yards.
06 - So far, no extreme violence, I'm disappointed!
07 - Tried to go deep but I don't know how to throw! Safety... this is not going well.
09 - I'm back on defense now, I was about to force them to fourth down but all of a sudden all my guys just stopped moving and their running back looked dizzy as he ran around but it was nearly impossible to tackle him. First down...
10 - Well, they scored the game's first touchdown. Butthead kicks it off as Bowser receives, not much return yardage.
11 - My quarterback gets rocked, maybe I should try more running plays.
12 - I attempt a reverse but just get saftied again.
13 - Back on defense - again. Hey, there's like a giant hole in the ground, gotta force them into that if possible. But that's the end of the first quarter. I had -20 yards that quarter, awesome.
15 - Finally, some real action! Somehow I audibled my defensive line into killing the ref, and that's exactly what I did! Took his head clear off.
16 - Two cool plays in a row, both a Basher and Monster got sucked into outer space by the hole, made my day. Man, these guys are brutal, they go for it on 4th and 4 and nearly score a touchdown! Give me a break!
17 - They score another touchdown and their guy does a little dance. It is now 18-0.
19 - Hey! I finally threw the ball, but it was tipped for no gain.
20 - Progress! I now know how I threw the ball, first you hit the C button to hike the ball, then the C button again to bring up the receivers, and then the A, B, or C button to pass it to one of the three.
21 - Too bad they score another touchdown on their first play. 25-0.
22 - Intercepted... though the ref did get bloodied up and I think three players were sucked into space. Worth it then.
24 - I'm making a goal line stance! Haha, they caught the ball out of bounds and got sucked into space. And then they kick a field goal.
25 - Only ten seconds left, time to go deep. Ugh, the ball keeps getting batted down, I'm waiting too long. Another safety on the last play, I think I might have called a run when I meant to call pass. I suck.
27 - Awesome, the half-time show was me trying to blow up some kind of dancers.
29 - Back to the action, I call a Nasty Ghost audible and all my players turn invisible, kind of cool... And they finally punt!
30 - I try to run but lose yards. Then throw but incomplete. Then another failed run.
32 - Defending my goal again, I just forced like four people into the void of space. Time to kill another ref! Too bad you get a 5 yard penalty for it.
33 - And they easily score on their next play. One of the linemen just farted, nice touch. Well, it's 37-0. Crap.
34 - I'm so angry I kill the ref again, about the only good, clean fun I've been having!
35 - I tried calling the Hail Scary but I got blitzed immediately, this is getting annoying.
36 - I finally caught the ball for a gain in yards! 16! Wow! Still 4th and 6 though, guess I shouldn't have killed that ref.
37 - Taking a hint from the NBA, I decide to bribe the ref. On my 4th and 6 I get about one yard but the ref calls a face mask penalty on the Monsters! Nice!
38 - The bribe is up as the Monsters have killed the ref! Two really can play at that game. First down though, not bad!
40 - The third quarter ends as one of the players falls through the field! It happened so fast though that I couldn't tell what team they played for.
41 - I decide to punt, not like I'm getting yards anyway.
42 - If it wasn't for that conveniently placed hole in the field, they would have had another touchdown!
43 - Bastard scored a touchdown but I kept hitting him so then he blew up. Bittersweet. 44-0.
45 - All right, a 29 yard gain on a pass! Ouch, one of my receivers fell off the field while he was running his route...
47 - I'm just happy this game is almost over!
48 - On the final play of the game they go for another touchdown but I pin them on the 1 yard line. Just trying to keep the score manageable! Coach did not like our performance.
49 - This time I'm playing as one the best teams, the Maniac All-Stars, against the worst, the Sixty Whiners. Death index is maxed out and we're at War Stadium.
51 - I connect for 17 yards on the first play, things are going better already!
52 - I still manage to go three and out though. On their first play at offense they somehow made all my controls reverse, must have been a Nasty Audible.
54 - I force them to three and out also. Not bad. They call another audible so I can't see my receivers, tricky.
55 - TOUCHDOWN!!! The crowd goes wild! And the extra point is good. It's 7-0!
56 - Another touchdown! I forced the quarterback to fumble and jogged it right in with my pig monster!
57 - Amazingly, it's 14-0 in my favor! And another fumble, actually two! First they recover and then fumble again and the ball is mine! I almost landed in a fire pit though.
58 - Touchdown! I should have paired the teams up like this in the first place.
59 - Bones and body parts are flying all over, this is fun now!
60 - Heh, another fumble, let's go deep in the last minute. Hmm, incomplete in the end zone. Well, not quite a touchdown, they did intercept it and then I forced a fumble so I ended up on their 2 yard line. At the end of the first quarter (and the first hour), the score rests at 21-0. Yay!
Time for some scores out of 10.
Minutes to Action: 3
Call me a bit surprised how serious of a football game this is. I'm not talking about the nasty audibles and the bone crushing hits, but the core game is pretty hardcore. This is not NFL Blitz, it is more early Madden turned on its head. I guess I had wished it was a little more unrealistic, if that's possible. Anyways, once I figured out the passing, I felt much more comfortable with it and the entire game just made so much more sense after I had imbalanced the teams so much at the end of the first hour.
Fun Factor: 6
Mutant League Football really failed to impress here in its first hour. I was expecting an all out battle on the football field, with obstacles all over and players ripping apart other players every other play. I didn't really get this satisfaction until the last ten minutes when I played as the league's all-stars and battled the worst team and had cranked up the death factor to the max. Then I had fun. But maybe I just suck at football games that aren't called Blitz.
Graphics and Sound: 7
This game has a pretty unique style going for it. I think Mutant League Football's most memorable graphics are the coaches! They have some pretty funny facial expressions, especially when you're as bad as I was. Plus I'm pretty sure the Icebay Bashers (Green Bay Packers) head coach is a pretty good parody of Vince Lombardi, the hat is unmistakable.
I think there's actually a story on the mutant universe in the manual, but whatever, this won't affect the final score. Like I said in my Tecmo Super Bowl review, stories in sports games don't typically go over well.
I didn't quite have the same great experience in Mutant League Football's first hour as I did with Tecmo Super Bowl, but I still had a pretty good time once I figured things out. I'm not a huge fan of traditional sports games and typically enjoy the rougher versions much more (think Blitz and Hitz), so I could really learn to love this game over time.