|Genre||Bite-sized Blood Sucking Action|
|MtAMinutes to Action||7|
|Buy from Amazon|
Mister Mosquito is a 2002 PS2 action game where you play as a mosquito. I've played a couple of weird games at the First Hour, including The Haunting where you play as a poltergeist, Psychonauts starring a kid psychic, and Night Trap, where you play as... a security camera operator. But Mister Mosquito may take the cake. He may be the smallest hero ever to appear in a video game, and in a really weird way, gives off the aura of a creepy voyeur.
The objective of Mister Mosquito is to fly around a Japanese family's house and suck their blood. As most people have had experience with mosquitoes sometime in their life, they know just how annoying these little buggers can be. Well, now's your chance to turn the table and be the annoying one. There's three family members and plenty of (exposed) skin to feast on, so let's get into the first hour of Mister Mosquito.
(minutes are in bold)
00 - "This game contains scenes of explicit itchiness." I press Start and a female announcer says, "Welcome to the home of the Yamada family." It's summer, and summer "makes people crazy." We're rotating around the Yamada house. The woman is still talking about mosquitoes and sucking blood. It's oddly very, very relaxing. "Please enjoy your summer of blood sucking."
01 - The mosquito flies into the house and the game starts loading. A menu screen now, I can select my mosquito's color, but all I have is the one option right now. I can get more by winning time attacks. Stage 1 is the daughter's room, she did spray herself with bug repellent earlier, but supposedly it is wearing off in some places. This game is so weird, it's entrancing. I click Start to begin the level.
02 - The family is complaining about the heat, they're all staring at me (I think), the mosquito. This is a Japanese family with some weird English accents. Haha, this is really bad voice acting, I love it.
03 - Are they staring at me? I'm confused. The mom runs off after she thinks no one wants to be in a picture with her. The daughter tromps off to her own room. More loading. The loading screen is some hollowed out ceramic pig smoking a cigarrette.
04 - Rena enters her room, wearing red short shorts and lies down on her bed. I need to suck two tanks of blood. I get control.
05 - It seems that R1 moves foward, it's kind of like flying in outer space, I just kept drifting forward until I ran into the wall.
07 - What the... I got too close to Rena and went into Battle Mode! She jumped out of bed and started swatting at me and I had to find her "relax" point to knock her out again. How does that make any sense? Well, I had to figure out how to even fly let alone run into her and "knock her out." Suspiciously, her relax point was very close to her crotch.
08 - A special spot has appeard on her thigh, I think I have to sting her there.
09 - I finally landed on her skin and pressed R3 to pierce it. I had to twirl the right thumbstick and "keep the ball in the blue" but was obviously unsuccessful as she got up and started swatting me again. This time I beat her fast enough to earn another color. Sweet!
10 - Awesome! "How was it the first time? I hope you enjoyed your first blood suck," the woman's voice says as Mister Mosquito flies away. Rena scratches her itch and then sits up quickly surprised!
11 - I switch to the gray colored mosquito, why not, I earned it. Stage 2 is the Yamada's store room, the mom is looking for the family albums in there. Some of the air is toxic from insecticide! Sounds dangerous to the family too!
12 - Another "cutscene" of the family talking. Maybe the mom has some sort of French accent, I can't figure it out. Rena warns her mother that "she's next." Sounds like a threat.
14 - The mom is walking around the storeroom, I don't see her bite spot yet... there are a bunch of purple clouds of insecticide floating around the room I need to avoid, along with of course, the mother who's high stepping around.
16 - Wow, that was easy. I found her bite spot on her leg, dove in, and finished sucking all the blood in less than 90 seconds. This time I had to adjust my blood sucking speed to keep the ball in the blue cloudy area. Hard to explain, but it just forces you to adjust your thumbstick rotation speed.
17 - Stage 3 is the living room with the dad. The father knows about the mosquito and has sprayed repellent around the room. Oh no! Crap, another conversation. This is so weird.
18 - They keep arguing about whether or not to rub aloe vera on their bites. Exciting stuff. Okay, time to suck the dad's blood.
20 - He's lounged out on the floor in front of the television. Doesn't the Yamada family own any furniture? Haha! The bite point is on his bald spot. Awesome. Wait, it went away...
21 - Interesting, I have to distract the dad from his TV watching so I can nail him. First I hit the remote and turn it off, but I tried dive bombing him from way too far off and simply bounced off his noggin. Next, I turned on the telephone, he's walking to it now.
24 - Woah, he caught me and we went into Battle Mode! I had to knock two of his relax points to get him back to the floor. He did take away one of my three hearts though through slapping. When he would slap me it would go super slow motion, pretty neat effect.
25 - Oh no, I spoke too soon! Three relax points required to knock him back down! I succeed but I'm personally down to one heart. I'm going to need to suck his blood, and quick.
27 - Wow, that was cheap. As I was sucking his blood, he swatted me and took my last heart away. Guess I have to detach when I see the palm coming.
29 - Phew, I suck three tanks of the dad's blood in just over two minutes and managed to avoid all his swats!
30 - Stage 4 - The Bathroom! Rena is taking a bath... wait, what? Head conversations again, just get to the bath already! Okay, that actually was really fast by this game's standards.
31 - "Mmmm.... this feels so good," Rena moans as the level begins. She's laying in the bathtub, water up to the top of her breasts. Let me guess where the bite spot is?
32 - Yep, right by the boobs.
33 - While sucking, Rene murmurs, "this feels so good." You and me both.
35 - Mister Mosquito gets into a battle with her (intentionally... heh), but unfortunately, she does not stand up out of the water. I relax her again, but then she slaps me while I'm sucking her blood and I die. Wow, all of this would sound pretty weird out of context.
38 - The game is thinking it is funny by continually putting me into Battle mode against her, I think I'm ready to get out of this level already!
42 - I don't know how she keeps spotting me, one time I was floating behind her head!
43 - Out of time! WHAT?
47 - Finally! And she gets out of the bath, but we can only see her feet. Mister Mosquito got a full view though, "hot water making you light headed?" This narrator sure is snarky.
48 - To the kitchen now in Stage 5. Stop. Talking. Please.
51 - Three minutes later... we're finally in the level. The mom is making dinner by doing flips, she's also wearing leopard pants. She deserves this.
53 - Her bite spot is inconveniently on the bottom of her foot, which you have to wait for her to raise up, quickly get some sucks in, then back off before she sets it back down flat on the floor. Well, it's really not as hard as you might imagine me describing it.
54 - Oh, you have to be kidding! You have to fill up two tanks on both feet! Realistically though, my mosquito is getting pretty plump.
56 - Nice, the mom attempts her super cooking flip again but messes it up, probably due to my bites.
56 - Stage 6 is Rena's room, again? The narrator warns me about the insecticide spray and bug zapper that she's now employing. I'm not afraid.
57 - I am afraid of more family conversations though.
59 - Not much time left, Rena is doing a workout in her room. There's a few points around the room I can hit, like her boom box and the light switch. Let's try the light. That didn't seem to do much.
60 - Whenever she does a karate move she'll yell, "Rena punch!" or "Low kick!" Finally found her bite spot after triggering her cell phone, it was on the tip of her finger! Well, that's the end of the first hour of Mister Mosquito!
Minutes to Action: 7
What I liked: Quirky gameplay, awful voice acting (in a good way!), and colorful graphics make Mister Mosquito one of the weirdest and most fun games I've ever played. The game never takes itself too seriously, and is oddly sexually charged. Rena's breasts floating in the bath water make the game's target audience a little too obvious, and the narrator's sensationally soothing voice had me giggling at all her line's ulterior meanings.
What I didn't like: If you've played Katamari Damacy, you know that those cutscenes between levels are essentially worthless flash animations and are just holding you back from rolling more crap up. It's a similar situation in Mister Mosquito, except you just get to stare at the foreheads of the three family members as they talk about summer, mosquitoes, and rubbing on aloe vera. I'm curious if the original Japanese script was this mundane, or if the translators just got bored with translating and made stuff up.
3D helicopter control is never that easy to get used to, and Mister Mosquito is no exception. I feel like I was finally getting it down perfectly at the end of the first hour, but the controls were rather awkward early on.
Gameplay: Besides the tough, but necessary controls, everything about Mister Mosquito is pretty simple. Press Circle while pointing at a puncture point and you'll zoom in quickly and land on your target's skin. Pressing R3 will puncture, and then it's just a matter of twirling the thumbstick while watching for any odd human movements that may lead to a slap.
Fun Factor: What other game are you able to land on a pair of digitized breasts floating in a bathtub? I can't think of any other, well, maybe Bubble Bath Babes. While it's sexy and a bit creepy at the same time (she's supposedly only 17?), the game definitely does not pull any punches. Sucking blood is fun, and if you can set aside a bit of maturity for a few hours, I think you'd enjoy this game too.
Graphics and Sound: The Yamada's home is a very big place to explore for a little mosquito, though the rooms are textured very plainly and have little detail outside the main household objects. I wll admit though, the people look like people and not caricatures of a human being. The voice acting, on the other hand, is crazy bad. The writing is boring and awful, while the actors are probably family members of one of the localizer's. Things get pretty comical though, especially with Rena and her one liners. Not to mention the narrator/announcer. Her voice is simply entrancing... the video below contains the opening and "the voice."
Story: Not much of a story in Mister Mosquito, though I think it tries to produce one with all the weird head conversations between levels. Waste of time if you ask me.
Would I Keep Playing? Yeah, seems like a fun game to play on a rainy day. I'm quite interested in knowing how much longer they can keep the appeal of a new level going. A full review of Mister Mosquito is probably not too far away.