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My ideal cast for the Mass Effect movie
Greg Noe — Tue, 06/08/2010 - 6:00am
A Mass Effect film has pretty much been rumored since gamers saw the
first trailer of the game years ago, and as with most popular series,
the inevitable moment of the movie being announced has finally
arrived. Whether it actually happens or not is still way up in the
air, and Hollywood's track record with game movies isn't much help
either. For every Resident Evil movie (four of them now), there are 10
ready-for-the-big-screen games that can't even get their films off the
ground. Halo had Peter Jackson backing it and that was canned. David
Hayter, legendary voice actor of Solid Snake and successful
screenwriter can't even get enough cash to make a Metal Gear Solid
film. And yet the Hitman movie is made.
A Mass Effect film has pretty much been rumored since gamers saw the
first trailer of the game years ago, and as with most popular series,
the inevitable moment of the movie being announced has finally
arrived. Whether it actually happens or not is still way up in the
air, and Hollywood's track record with game movies isn't much help
either. For every Resident Evil movie (four of them now), there are 10
ready-for-the-big-screen games that can't even get their films off the
ground. Halo had Peter Jackson backing it and that was canned. David
Hayter, legendary voice actor of Solid Snake and successful
screenwriter can't even get enough cash to make a Metal Gear Solid
film. And yet the Hitman movie is made.
The names fronting the money and penning the script are impressive though, so this might just happen, and if it does, here's my candidate list of actors...
NOBODY!
For all that is good and holy, please do not make a Mass Effect movie. Here are three reasons why:
1. The guy writing the screenplay, Mark Protosevich, has a total of three movies under his belt: The Cell, Poseidon, and I Am Legend. I've never seen the Cell, but the other two sucked. I Am Legend is one of the best books I've ever read, and somehow Mark completely messed everything up as he was writing for the silver screen. He totally missed the entire theme of the book altogether, not even translating what being a "Legend" actually meant in the context of the novel. The film is just a typical summer special effects blockbuster with a clusterfunk of a plot.
This is the guy penning the Mass Effect screenplay. Chances are he'll be confused by the Reapers and make up some crappy backstory about when Shepard and Saren used to be buddy cops in C-Sec.
2. Video games movies suck, even the non-Uwe Boll ones. As much as I hate to admit it, this is true. Remember when the first Resident Evil movie came out and how it wasn't about the games at all? Here you have a series that already has ready-to-be-filmed material and instead the writers have a room full of lasers kill everyone off. What, were zombies already passé by the time the movie started?
If the movie comes out, fans of the series will be disappointed because there's no way the film could include everything that makes the Mass Effect universe great, and non-fans will just see it as another video game movie in space. And Mass Effect has no where near the name-recognition of Halo, and that couldn't even get made.
3. What makes Mass Effect great is its RPG-ness: the character you build, the choices you make, and the effect it has on the galaxy around you. How is this appropriate for a movie at all? Shepard isn't male or female, renegade or paragon; Shepard is what you make them. Film is simply not the right medium for the story being told in the games. Sure, they could make it a side story like the books, but what is the point then? People don't want to see Blasto the Hanar Spectre, they want to see Shepard. But they want to see their Shepard. Which is impossible.
Don't make this movie. Guys at BioWare, concentrate on finishing up the main trilogy and make it the best ever. Guys in Hollywood? Make a good movie from some original material and stay away from our beloved video game series.
I've played a million games, and I've rocked them all.
Copyright 2007-2012 Greg Noe. All rights reserved.
Comments
Mass Effect TV
Lets picture if a movie was made. To put just the main story into a movie and keeping only maybe half the dialog, unless the writers dont have any time constraints to deal with thats already going to be a very long movie. At some point the writers would have to leave things/people/places out. Well if thats gonna happen they shouldnt make a movie. Maybe a series? I like this idea and they are becoming more popular then acual movies. A series doesnt have the same time constraints as a movie does, they are just different. Take the series " The Walking Dead" on AMC for example. The story of a man who wakes up in a hospital and find the city of Atlanta over run by zombies, his goal is to find his family and continue living. Each episode is an hour long and has its own story in a story to fill the hour. Mass Effect would be perfect for this seeing that each place Shepard went to wasnt just for a few minutes. He and his team had to do things. The way the game is made and with the finding crew members, loyalty quests other side quests, a series would be the way to do it. Probably not a great idea once all the t's are crossed, but still makes better sense then a movie.
I like your idea
I've warmed slightly to the idea of bringing Mass Effect to... some screen, but I like your idea better of a television show. I've been a much bigger television fan lately than I have ever been a fan of film, and I think you may have a good idea. I watched The Walking Dead, and while the show has issues, it's at least giving the story a lot of room to breathe. Mass Effect might very well gain a lot from a set of 12 episode seasons.
No Mass Effect movie. Just
No Mass Effect movie. Just no. If we wanted that, we'd just get someone to cut and edit all the dialogue scenes together for a movie. That would work way better than anything Hollywood could come up with.
Really?
Are people THAT down on Hollywood? Are there no movies out in the last 5-10 years that you've been impressed with such that you have at least a little faith that something good is at least possible?
Yup, boo to Hollywood
They have nearly destroyed every YA book series I love with a single horrible movie. Inkheart, Percy Jackson, Series of Unfortunate Events...just atrocious. I know that they aren't videogame movies, but really, there's not many great ones to name of those either. I just don't have a lot of faith in the 'wood.
I wonder
I mean, aren't the demographics of those series 12 year olds, or thereabouts? Not that older readers can't enjoy them, I personally have enjoyed such works (I'm struggling to remember the serious, bat its a rich irish boy who secretly chases/captures fairies). But do you think it's possible that the movies were enjoyable for the target demo? I don't know, I've not brought a 12 year to see Inkheart, but it seems like some of these movies really are made for kids while the books have a slightly broader appeal. I've been to movies with younger viewers who loved a movie I thought was terrible.
I think in general, it's much easier for a book to transcend demographics (as in the case of lots of YA series) than it is for a movie, or for a video game. Discuss.
Good Points
I agree that books more easily transcend demographics, at least as far as age goes. Growing up I barely knew the difference between Young Adult and "Adult" books; I read them and enjoyed them interchangeably.
Also,
I meant to ask, whats your fave YA series? I'm looking for some light reading in that vein (to take a break from the G.R.R. Martin I've been reading) and would love a recommendation. Don't worry, whatever you mention, I'll make sure to avoid any movie adaptations. :)
Shenmue
Sounds like the Shenmue movie!
what was that you said
About I am Legend being one of the best books you've ever read? I think you're reading too many video game novelizations because that thing was a turd. It's one of the worst short stories I've ever read. When I bought the book, I didn't realize it contained more than one short story/novella. It looked like your standard, 6 inch soft cover with 250 or so pages. I was reading I am Legend and about halfway through the book, (140 pages or so) it just ended. Abrupt. Nothing. Horrible. I literally through it across the room I was so pissed. yeah, yeah, i got the legend part, but c',mon, really? Thats the ending?
Ok, with regard to the Mass Effect movie, you make some good points. Although, I think Shepherd IS a man. I think they made the game as open as possible to give people options, but I think it's clear he was designed as a man. Also, I think most people probably played with the stock Shepherd so if they made a movie and have seen innumerable screen shots of his face, they could just get a guy who looked like that and most people would be ok with it. That being said, you're absolutely right, I don't think they can include in a movie all the things that made ME great.
HOWEVER! I really like the universe and I think somebody should make a movie that takes place in it. Yes, I think Hollywood needs to make more good movies, and more good movies based on original material, but think about it, someone, or more likely a group of someones, created this amazing vision, this amazing thing that is the ME universe. Why not use it to make a movie? At least try. Who cares if it sucks, if theres even a small chance it's great. I mean, look at Pirates of the Caribbean. That movie (the first one) was fantastic and it was based on an AMUSEMENT PARK RIDE! Surely, with the content in Mass Effect, it has the potential to be good. And, EVENTUALLY, somebody WILL make a good video game movie, maybe ME would be that movie.
Plus, the casting is pretty much already done. They should use Seth Green and David Keith and Sarah from Chuck and all the rest of them. The only real issue would be Shepherd and for him, I would say maybe Christian Bale or Edward Norton.
Christian Bale as Shepard
I would be okay with Christian Bale now that you mention him. Heh.
And yes, I loved I am Legend, I guess I can understand why you didn't like it though as it's not a typical novella. I also don't read that many video game novelizations, lol.
Also
When I say, "Edward Norton", I'm talking about American History X Edward Norton, the badass pumped up version of him with a goatee.
Ok, and I suppose I was a little harsh on I am Legend, but man that ending surprised me and I was totally wishing for an actual resolution. Also, how many pages can one read about a lonely pathetic loser sloshing whiskey around in a glass and having a nervous breakdown. I think they made decisions on the movie that had to be made. But yeah it was a disappointment too (but I still thought it had the right idea).
Lastly, for fun, go out and rent Omega Man. Its a movie from the 70s that was based on the I am legend novel and it's HILARIOUS.
If you loved the book, you owe it to yourself to witness this fantastic 70s adaptation. And when i say "fantastic", well, you'll have to see it to understand. Its available Netflix instant stream if you have that.
Seen it
I've seen it, Omega Man was somehow even worse than the new film. There's an even older film that I haven't seen though, Last Man on Earth I think it's called.
Nice
I'll have to look for that movie. I'm a total nerd for "post apocalyptic/last humans on earth" movies. No matter how bad they are, I can find something to like about them.
About Resident Evil
The hall of lasers was the only scary part in that movie.
Ha!
"Guys in Hollywood? Make a good movie from some original material ..."
Even when Hollywood wasn't completely out of ideas, this was asking a lot.
Side note: The Mass Effect 2 soundtrack was playing in iTunes when this post came up in my reader. Creepy!
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